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Q. How can you possibly say that Punta Arenas is "the southernmost city in the world?" I can see right on your map there are places further south.
A. At 53°10' south latitude and with a population of 116,105 (not counting penguins, speniscus magellanicus), our fair Punta Arenas is the world's southernmost city — that is, a place with sidewalks, video rental stores, pizza parlors, etc, all the accoutrements of civilization. Any places you may see on the map further south of Punta Arenas are small towns or settlements. At 54°56' south latitude and with a population of 1952, Puerto Williams can, if it so wants, call itself "the southernmost dot-on-the-map in the world." Of course, we're not counting here the human habitations in Antarctica.
Q. How did Punta Arenas get its name?
A. Punta Arenas is the Spanish translation of Sandy Point, the name given it by the first mariner to run aground here. Some say he called it something else. Before the unfortunate completion of your transcontinental railroad on May 10, 1869 — a date that will forever live in infamy, from our perspective at least — Punta Arenas thrived as the halfway stopover point for magnificent clipper ships on the fast sea route from New York to San Francisco.
Another ignominious date in history was August 15, 1914, with the lamentable opening of your Panama Canal, allowing ships to take this totally unnatural so-called shortcut between the Atlantic and Pacific and thus ending for Punta Arenas our important and profitable dual role as a coaling station and zona de la tolerancia (free trade zone). These two dátiles dolorosas (pitiful dates) we commemorate annually by wearing black arm bands and standing for an hora del silencio (hour of silence) outside the local U.S. consulate, while muffled church bells toll.
Q. Is Punta Arenas in Tierra del Fuego or isn't it?
A. Actually, Tierra del Fuego (Land of Firing Squads) is the name given to the archipelago below the Estrecho de Magallanes (Strait of Magellan), territory now peacefully shared by both Chile and Argentina since the treaty ending the bloody Guerra Pinguina (Penguin War). Punta Arenas, situated on the mainland side of said strait, is capital of Chile's Región de Magallanes y la Antártica Chilena, which encompasses Chilean Tierra del Fuego plus Chilean Patagonia (Land of Big Feet) and, let us not forget, the valuable 490,350 square miles of Antarctica that we claim.
Note that naming rights to the strait were sold in 1975 to Fidelity's Magellan Fund; before then, it was called somewhat more descriptively the Estrecho de Condenación y Abatimiento (Strait of Doom and Gloom) and is still so shown on many charts.
Q. Do people in Punta Arenas eat lots of hot and spicy food or what?
A. A common gringo misconception, you're thinking of Mexican food; not everyone in Latin America eats muy picante tacos and tamales. For el desayuno we typically have huevos revueltos del pinguino (penguin omelette), for el almuerzo we have pinguino al estilo Coronel Sanders (fried penguin), and for la sena we enjoy pinguino a la parrilla (grilled penguin). An ever-popular snack treat is pepitas pinguinitas (penguin nuggets).
When out on the town in Punta Arenas, be sure to try our most noteworthy cocktail, the Pinguino Hierbabuena (Peppermint Penguin). Ingredients are as follows:
Q. What are some things to do in and around Punta Arenas?
A. Well, of course we have el mirar del pinguino (penguin watching), and also la caza del pinguino (penguin hunting) in season. Also popular during our all-too-brief period of summer weather, which we call el verano momentáneo, is el nadar con los pinguinos (swimming with penguins). This can often be adventurous, as las orcas (killer whales) also like to swim with penguins.
When in Punta Arenas, be sure to visit our beautiful Museo Nacional del Pinguino (National Penguin Museum), and the nearby Instituto de los Artes y Ciencias del Pinguino y Rotisserie (Institute of Penguin Arts & Sciences and Rotisserie).
Small children will always enjoy a visit to the Parque Zoológico Juvenil de los Pinguinos Domesticados (Penguin Petting Zoo).
Q. What's the weather like in Punta Arenas?
A. Here's a cheat sheet for common condiciones meteorológicas:
Lluvia means rain.
Nieve means snow.
Brisa means breeze.
Note that the term asoleado meaning sunny is virtually unknown.
Q. How do you connect to the internet in Punta Arenas?
A. Fortunately for us, the trans-Andean internet backbone RETA (red espinal trans-andina) goes right through Punta Arenas. Most of us connect via DSL Pinguino, our local service provider, although Servicio Comcasteño is making some inroads.
Q. Why do you have the Texas flag on your page?
A. No señor, it's the Chilean flag, but admittedly these two flags look strikingly similar, and this has been the subject of long drawn-out copyright litigation between Chile and Texas. However, the two sides have decided to drop the matter amicably and join forces in suing Microsoft instead. Q. What are some common Punta Arenas expressions?
A. Here are a few of our favorite sayings, along with their approximate inglés equivalents:
Cada pinguino con su pinguina — Birds of a feather flock together.
Cuando los pinguinos sí vuelven a Punta Arenas — Said in jest of something improbable, since the penguins never actually leave.
Más vale un pinguino muerto que un pinguino fugitivo — A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Tiene la memoria de un pinguino — Said of someone with a good memory, probably relates to the penguin's uncanny ability to recognize its mate. Likewise, cerebro pinguino — an endearing nickname often given to smart students by their classmates.
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